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31 ways to survive the student christmas break at home

It can be tough to go back home after living by yourself at university in student halls for three to four months. All of the freedoms that you know have been taken away, but we know how to survive the christmas break at home!

1. Agreeing to attend all family functions

Just to save face and a bollocking later on from your dad

2. To tell your mum white lies about how you study every night

It will only hurt her otherwise

3. Laugh along to the jokes that everyone makes about you

4. And listen to the 'sex' talk from your nan or grandad

5. Ignore the need to go back to university and spend Christmas alone

6. And just give your sibling 'the look' when you need backup

They'll understand

7. Ignore the financial advice from your mum

Or you'll end up telling her how much you spend on alcohol each week

8. At least attempt to restore your sleeping pattern

Or it will worry your family about how well you can actually function

9. Give yourself a break before the next term of terror begins

Or you'll burn out completely

10. Bathe in the family gossip you've missed for three months

11. And then you realise that everyone has moved on without you

A little too easily

12. And you can tell your friends to shut up when they try to rat you out

Because nobody needs to know about your antics

13. Before breaking down in front of your mum about how you can't deal with life

14. And try to make them understand how deep it is

15. But when they suggest you dropping out you tell them no

Because that is just crazy talk

16. Because you can't imagine having to come back and live with your parents again

17. And all life would be over as you know it

18. It's not worth the freedom

19. So you feel relieved that you've dodged that bullet

20. You constantly tell your friends that your mum has gone crazy

21. So you try to act as well behaved as you can

22. Even though she has nothing to nag you about

Apart from your coat that you left downstairs

23. Hold back what you really want to say

If you want to keep your head

24. And remember how much you hate doing everything related to technology in the house

And you can't believe your mum hasn't changed the channel on the TV since you've left because she forgot how to do it

25. Take a walk when it gets too much

Because you'll want to be calm when you ask for money later on

26. Let your weird uncle talk to you all night

Because he'll slip you more alcohol throughout the night and then your nan doesn't know how much you knock back

27. Do the chores that your mum asks you to do

Because otherwise they'll know you live in squalor

28. Try to hide the alcohol shakes

When you stop drinking daily

29. And how much you really receive from Student Loans

or they won't feel sorry for you anymore

30. If all else fails just say yes to everything

31. And wait for the day that you can go back to bliss

Of drinking, ordering food and online shopping that the new term and student loan installment brings